How To Deal With Someone Who Annoys You

I waited almost 16 years for this moment. I was so excited that I scheduled a day off of work. The reason? The release of The Phantom Menace. The first new Star Wars film since I was a kid.

But then, we were introduced to Jar Jar.

Just thinking of that name makes me cringe. What about you? We all have a person in our life that makes us cringe when we think of them or see them coming towards us.

How are we to deal with a difficult person?

Are we like Qui-Gon who, literally, runs into Jar Jar, and shortly thereafter tells him “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent. Now get out of here!”

Qui-Gon is not like the Jedi we are used to (Obi-Wan and Yoda). Sadly, he is more like us.

How should we handle them? The church answer is that “Jesus tells us how, with love.” That is a true statement. We see from this passage in the gospel of Matthew 5:43-44, that Jesus is calling us to a higher level.

Matthew 5:43-44 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

What does living that out look like?

We are certainly going to run into people who are like Jar Jar Binks. These goofy, annoying, uneducated people can be trying in our lives.

But unlike the way Qui-Gon responded, we are to respond in a different way, a godly way.

How do you love someone who annoys you, that you can’t stand? Be specific.

We need to rely on God and his Holy Spirit. Look at what Jesus tells his disciples in John 13:34-35.

The word that Jesus uses here for love is the verb for agape. It usually is thought of as unconditional love.

Agape is also the same word used in I Corinthians 13 and in John 3:16.

How should Christians handle annoying people?

Here are four practical ways to deal with difficult people.

1. Speak With Respect

We are told in Scripture to speak to others with love. This is tough at times. Love and respect need be our guide.
See Ephesians 4:15 “Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.”
See Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
See Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

2. The Matthew 18 Pattern

In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus gives us the steps for dealing with a problem.
Step 1: Go privately to the one with whom the problem is.
Step 2: Take a one or two people with you so that you can establish the facts. This avoids the “he said, she said” argument.
Step 3: If there is no resolution to the issue, bring it to the attention of the [church] authorities.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. ~ Matthew 18:15-17

3. Know When To Walk Away

Sometimes you need to be OK with being wronged. Jesus Himself was wronged but did not always argue to get His way. Sometimes you need to let it be.

4. Remember That You Will Give An Account To God

Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.”
1. Pray For Them 
Matthew 5:44 tells us to pray for those that persecute you. This is very difficult to do. It is humanly impossible. You can only do this with God’s help. He will enable you, if you ask Him.