Guest post by Dave Wernli.
Itās the climax of the movie Return of the Jedi, the moment weāve all been waiting for ā Luke Skywalkerās final face-off with Darth Vader. Growing up in Los Angeles, my friends and I waited in line hours to see it the week it first came out at the Mann Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. Weād waited through three movies, thoroughly enjoying hating Darth Vader, for this moment, when Luke would finally triumph over Darth Vader.
When Darth Vader finds Lukeās weak spot, threatening his sister Leia, Luke comes unglued. He fights through the battle with uncontrollable hatred for his father, Darth Vader. Sure enough, Luke wins the lightsaber duel by cutting off Darth Vaderās hand. Darth Vaderās hopelessly sprawled on the edge of the chasm inside the Death Star before Luke, his life in Lukeās hands. But thereās a twist. Having just cut off Darth Vaderās mechanical hand, Luke looks at his own mechanical hand, and realizes, in his hatred, heās becoming his father.
In case we had any doubt, the Emperor explains it to us: āGo on, kill your father, and take his place at my side.ā And we suddenly realize Darth Vaderās not the real enemy here. He never really has been, he just acted like it.
Luke’s vengeance against his father gives him the opportunity to become his father. This is the choice Luke must make ā to complete his judgment on his father, and hence become him, or to forgive his father. And it’s the power of Luke’s forgiveness that frees his father from his own deception under the power of the Emperor, and he saves Luke. But whether Luke lived or died, he still made the right choice. Better to die at the hands of Emperor Palpatine than to live as Darth Vader II.
Thereās a spiritual principle here. We become what we judge. When I first heard this, I took some convincing. But they showed it to me in the Word of God: Romans 2:1 says, āYou, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.ā
We become what we judge. Just like Luke, in his passing judgment on Darth Vader, would have become him. When we judge our parents (or others who hurt us), when we cling to our right to be offended at their offense against us, we condemn ourselves to do the same things to those we love. Hurt people hurt people. We just continue the cycle.
But the way out, the way of escape, is forgiveness. Forgiveness doesnāt mean we pretend they didnāt do evil to us and itās suddenly magically all ok. Itās not ok. Instead, forgiveness means we come to the place where they are not the evil they did to us. They are not the enemy but under his deception.
Since learning about this, I have witnessed it to be true, both in my own life and in the lives of those close to me. When we harbor resentment and judgment, we will eventually start doing the same things, and eventually become what we hated.
But when we forgive, it sets us, and often the other person, free. Judgment sets us up to become what we judged. This is why forgiveness is so vitally important. It releases us from repeating the evil done to us on the ones we love.
Mercy triumphs over judgment (James 2:13b NIV).
What do you think?
Have you been down this road?
Talk to us in the comments and tell us your story.
Dave Wernli is an author, blogger, and speaker. He and his wife Janet help Christians stuck in brokenness live the adventure God created them for. Dave and Janet have a passion to see the Body of Christ walking whole and set free. Visit their blog at www.IdentityInWholeness.com. Dave and Janet live in Stafford, VA.
After years of battling my anger and inner demons, I turned to God and learned to forgive people, mostly my former stepfather, for events in my life. I saw myself like Luke, becoming what I hated. And I decided not to turn to The Dark Side, so to speak. I pray others see this and turn to God and our Savior Jesus Christ for help in learning forgiveness.
I am sorry for those years of hurt but rejoice with you in being able to forgive.
What a powerful testimony, Jason! Unforgiveness is a poison we drink expecting the other person to die. When we forgive, we let ourselves out of the prison we made for them. It doesn’t mean pretending nothing evil happened to us. But it’s coming to the place where the other person is not the evil they did to us. I’ve learned first-hand there is so much freedom after forgiveness.
Thank you both brothers for your encouragement. I have followed Eric’s blog for over a year now. David, you make a very valid point. It is poison, and it slowly killed me inside for a long time. Eric said it right “Hurt people hurt people”. I realized I was becoming what I had hated, and I was hurting my children by berating them like I had been. That was when I decided to take the right action and start forgiving. David, I have an even more powerful testimony that would blow your mind! I would love to share it with y’all.
Jason, thank you for being so honest and open. Acknowledging what we are doing that hurts ourselves or others is the first step into a larger world; a world of forgiveness.
Amen Brother Eric. Love the Obi-Wan Kenobi reference lol. May The LORD be with you!
Jason, Thank you for sharing! I would love to hear the rest of your story. You can email me directly at dave@IdentityInWholeness.com if you wish.