The Hurt Of Being Lied To

Have you even been sucker punched? I have. It sucks- both figuratively and literally.

Unprepared for the strike, it hits you hard and you have no time to avoid it or even to tighten your muscles and soften the blow.

Finding out you’ve been lied to can feel the same way.

How should we handle being lied to?

Friendly Confrontation

That might be an oxymoron but we should confront the person in a friendly manner.

The person that lied to me is very, very close to me. I found out about the lie because a family member told my wife and me about it.

While my wife and I struggled to know how to deal with the lie, our stomaches were in knots and we didn’t know what to do.

We prayed and decided that I should be the one to talk with the person about the situation. My wife and I role played the situation to make sure what I said did not come across as damning the other person but expressed our hurt and provided an opportunity for the other person to explain.

The Other Side Of The Story

Listening to the other person’s side of the story was hard.

They did not dispute the events and what was said and done. There was some attempt at justification but it seemed half-hearted. They knew that they had wronged us.

There were some wet eyeballs all around, from me, my wife and the other person.

The Damage & Reconciliation

The relationship with this person has been damaged. It will take some time for my wife and I to trust this person again.

We hugged things out and have started the process of healing. But just like being punched in the stomach, there is pain and wheezing for a while. Just like a cut, the wound will require time to scab over and heal

The damage done by this lie can be repaired, but it will take time. Probably months if not longer.

The “What If Game”

What if this person didn’t admit their lie? What if this person lies again? What if we hadn’t found out until much later?

All of these are questions for another day. We can make ourselves even sicker by playing the “what if” game.

What if I was on the other side and was the one that had wrong someone. How would I want to be treated? Would I want someone to yell and scream at me or to calm talk things out?

Jesus reminds us in Luke 6:31 “And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.”

This is hard, really hard to do. But it’s worth it. Restoring a relationship is worth it.

As hard as it is to forgive someone that has wronged you, remember that Jesus died for you, me, and everyone in the world because we wronged God. We turned our backs to Him and yet He sent Jesus to earth to live a sinless life and die a criminal’s death to restore the relationship with Him.

What if you were humble enough to admit to God that you have wronged Him? You know what He will do? He will forgive you and call you “son” or “daughter”.

God loves you and wants to restore the relationship between you and Him.

What would happen if you turned to God and asked for forgiveness today?